44. Tricking the Trickster (D1)

__ Doug had stopped outside the side door to St. Paul's the same way R. Lee Munson had with the Archangel Michael perched invisibly on the shoulder of his soul. The only difference with Doug was that he had no archangel support. And he was wrestling with the massive waves of guilt at listening to Maggie's tortured screams and final quiet gurgle.
__ "I could have saved her," Doug whispered in prayer with his forehead on the door. The shadow cast by the security light above gave him a harsh and useless silhouette in the snow between his feet. His faceless self stared up at him not offering anything close to hope. "God, give me strength. I don't understand any of this. I don't know what's going on or what I'm doing. I couldn't save Ardy, but I could have ran back and taken Maggie out of here. I could have...."
__ He let it trail off. He knew God wouldn't answer. All of this was a test of his faith. But there was more to it than that. In Maggie's little otherworldly pep-talk, she had given him some instruction as what to do. She couldn't give him the whole psychic profile - that would defuse the whole "faith thing." All she could say was, "You'll know what to say when you get there, but remember, he's a trickster."
__ Doug had blinked, "W-Who is? Who's a trickster?"
__ "The devil, silly."
__ "But I-"
__ "All you need is your faith. Your trust in Him. It's easy, Mr. Testerbird. Just leave me to die."
__ Doug couldn't argue with her because she wouldn't have it. In fact, he didn't believe it. After all, the diminutive Yuri Gellar had an inside track with the murderous Munson. Doug still didn't know who to trust, why, or when.
__ You couldn't have a greater test of faith.
__ He took three deep breaths, armed with nothing but his faith, and opened the door.
__ Maggie had been wrong. There was no devil here. What Doug saw was a tall, hard-bodied (and naked - let's not forget naked) bronzed blue-eyed male model in the midst of some ranting soliloquy.
____ "...You send me a man distracted by false gods, instead of a redeemer of light.
__ "And they all fell before me. They all fail when you send them. Because they are only human, they fall. All of them."
__ Doug took one more deep breath. "Not all of them."


__ Lucifer was not God, hadn't heard God's whispers in his ears for thousands of years, and hadn't had the gift of precognition since The Fall. So, he jumped at the sound of the scrawny man's voice. The devil jumped and rested his hand on his chest. "Who-?"
__ "I'm Douglas. I'm here to stop you from whatever it is you're doing."
__ It was obvious by the stiff way the intruder held his neck that he was avoiding letting his gaze fall upon the ruin that was Ardelene Jacobi. Perhaps they had something? Lust? Something I can use, Lucifer mused.
__ "Sinner!" the devil accused, pointing dramatically at Douglas's chest with a muscular finger. "Your fate is sealed. You will join me in hell."

__ Doug hadn't expected that kind of response (yeah. What kind of response was expected from your first conversation with a fallen angel?) and looked around the floor for something to use as a weapon. A leaky vial of holy water perhaps, a silver bullet and a convenient revolver, mandrake root, a mirror. How do you fight the devil himself?
__ Lucifer stood and stepped around an overturned pew. Doug glanced up before stepping back, surprised to find the dark angel was endowed - actually well endowed. He didn't know why - maybe it was a movie or something - but he always expected that angels were sexless.
__ "You can run from me, earth crawler. Your soul will be mine upon your death and I will sup upon it like I did the entrails of your beloved bitch there."
__ Doug pinched his eyes closed, almost tripped backing around some wreckage from the pipe organ, and stammered, "Y-You can't. I have faith. I believe."
__ Lucifer continued stalking Doug. With a powerful arm, he uprighted a statue pedastal and tossed it aside. He took another stride toward the shivering store owner as Doug arched his way around the other side of the church. The devil sneered, "You believe in aliens. You believe in reality TV. You believe in Star Trek. You don't even know God."
__ Doug stopped. Stood firm. "You're right."
__ Lucifer stopped pursuing, but he didn't look surprised at Doug's response. Instead, he lowered his head slightly and gazed out from under a malevolent brow, his grin of perfect white teeth almost a ferrel expectation of flesh.
__ Doug said, "I'm a sinner."
__ "You confess to me?"
__ "I confess to God. Though I'm not worthy of His redemption." Where were these words coming from? Doug was silently thankful for all the years of churchgoing. The various memorized and rote-induced creeds were coming back to him though he never expected to recite them like this.
__ "A shame. But you are worthy of mine," Lucifer leered.
__ "I don't want - or need - yours," Doug said and continued backpedaling.
__ The devil pursued. Doug was walking backwards, glancing over his shoulder more rapidly, watching his step. Lucifer was closing the distance.
__ Doug was now almost to the crook of the makeshift cross that held Ardy's ruined body. That's where Lucifer would trap him. What now, Lord? What do I do now? I could have saved the girl and now the dark angel is going to strangle the life out of me and eat my soul like candy. What am I supposed to do to stop this?
__ God answered by allowing Doug's heel to catch a step up to the podium across from the pulpit. He stumbled back, his arms pinwheeling uselessly. He landed on his rear with a thump and reflexively held his arms up to protect his face.
__ Lucifer closed the gap growling. "When I am through with you, meat, you will pray with all your heart to a darkness that never answers." He lunged for Doug and lifted him by the shirt collars. He slammed him back against the cross-bar of the cross.
__ The altar wreckage-converted-to-crucifix was hard and heavy. The air was knocked out of Doug's lungs as Lucifer slammed his back against the bar. He winced and glanced right to see Ardy's upturned impaled palm. He closed his eyes against it as Lucifer lifted him and pushed the back of his head against Ardy's ruined ribcage.
__ The devil's hands closed around Doug's throat and began to crush his esophagus like an old tin can. And that's when it occurred to him.
__ Doug's eyes widened with the realization. He's one of us! He's human!
__ His mind raced marathons at the speed of light. Crazy thoughts (like anything today could be crazy by comparison to this day itself) darted from ear to ear. Doug thought this wasn't really Lucifer but an impersonator, maybe an alterling possessing a man as with the cop.
__ But in those ice blue eyes Doug saw an eternity. And in that eternity, regret and suffering. Thousands of ears of suffering. As Christ walked the earth as a human being so that God could taste of mankind's guilt and sin, suffering and cruelty; Lucifer was now walking the earth to taste of love and regret, fear and forgiveness.
__ Just before the vertebrae in his neck snapped, Doug managed a harsh whisper, "I forgive you."
__ Lucifer relaxed his grip and leaned closer as if he could see the truth of Doug's words in the soon-to-be-dead man's eyes. As with the killer before, there was Truth here, a deep and impenetrable light. God was present in this soul after all. He dropped the store owner who landed on the floor in a heap with his hands clawing at his collar, gasping for air.
__ "I DON'T WANT YOUR FORGIVENESS!" Lucifer roared. "I WANT HIS!"

__ And with that, the prince of darkness glanced up into Ardy Jacobi's dead eyes which were now very much alive. He saw the girl's throat move as she swallowed against the stiffness and waves of renewed pain. He saw her eyes blink. He saw the tears well in them. He saw her ruined limbs twitch and her face scrunch up against the agony.
__ In a language he hadn't heard in centuries, Ardy said, "You have it, Lucifer. You are forgiven."